The Wrong Environment: When the Life You Are Living Is Not Really Yours

For a long time, I thought I just needed to push harder.

I set goals, built side projects, learned new skills, tried to make friends and even started dating again. I was constantly working on myself. On paper, everything looked fine. From the outside, it looked like I had a plan and I did. But something inside me would not settle.

Recently, I realised what the problem really was. I have been trying to grow in an environment that no longer fits who I am.

The cork in the bottle was not a lack of effort or focus. It was the fact that I have been living a life designed around other people’s expectations, not my own. The job I am in now, as much as I have tried to make it work, just is not aligned with the life I want to create.

It is not that I have left the role yet. But something in my mind has shifted.

There is a voice that I cannot silence anymore. It keeps saying: this is not it.

The Turning Point

I have always had a passion for travel, for storytelling, for creativity, for marketing that connects people with new experiences and new places. I have spent so long putting those passions to the side, treating them like hobbies rather than valid career directions. I kept telling myself: later, when I have time, when I am more secure, when I have earned it.

But the truth is, no amount of structure or security can compensate for a life that feels misaligned.

When you are not living authentically, it does not matter how impressive your CV looks or how much stability you have. Deep down, there is a dissonance you cannot shake, a quiet but constant feeling that you are not quite where you are meant to be.

For me, that quiet voice recently got louder than everything else.

The Role as the Cork

I used to think I could just work around the discomfort. Keep the job, and build everything else around it: a travel side business, a personal life, new friendships. But no matter how hard I tried, it always felt like something was blocking the flow.

Now I understand why. The role itself, even if not actively toxic, has become the cork in the bottle. It is not a match for the kind of life I am trying to build. Trying to force myself to fit into it has drained my energy, dulled my creativity, and made every other goal harder to reach.

It is not about hating my job. It is about realising it does not fit.

Trying to change yourself to suit the wrong environment rarely leads to growth. It leads to burnout.

Living Someone Else’s Life

There is something deeply disorienting about waking up and realising you have built a life that does not quite feel like your own. Not because you did not work hard or did not care, but because the choices you made were shaped by what other people thought was best for you.

You follow the rules, tick the boxes, and then one day you ask yourself: what was I building all this for?

It is not that I regret my past decisions. Every step taught me something. But I have come to realise I have been living in reaction to other people’s expectations rather than intentionally creating the kind of life that lights me up.

Now that I see it clearly, I cannot unsee it.

A Subtle Kind of Harm

When you stay in a place that does not nourish your real self, the impact is not always dramatic. It can be subtle, almost invisible, but it builds up over time, creating a constant mental strain that wears you down.

You might find yourself no longer enjoying the things that once lit you up — the hobbies, the interests, the simple pleasures that used to bring you joy. Instead of feeling inspired or energised, you feel flat, drained, or indifferent.

This quiet misalignment can also affect how you relate to others. You might notice your tone becoming sharper, your patience thinner, or your voice harsher, sometimes unintentionally harming those around you. It’s as if the wrong environment slowly seeps into your whole being, impacting your mental health and your relationships.

• You feel like your light is dimming.

• You stop dreaming big.

• You dread Monday mornings, not because of the workload, but because of what you are not doing.

• You doubt your instincts and shrink your goals to fit the mould you are in.

  
  

Over time, this strain chips away at your confidence, your wellbeing, and your mental health. And worst of all, it can make you question your passions, as if you are the problem for wanting more.

But you are not the problem.

The environment is.

When the Mind Knows Before the Action

Here is something important. You do not need to have everything figured out to know something is not right.

I have not left my role yet. But I have left the idea that I should keep tolerating it.

I have stopped telling myself it is just a phase. I have stopped minimising how I feel. I have stopped convincing myself that I am being ungrateful.

The truth is something in my head has shifted. A kind of mental no-going-back. Even though I have not made the leap yet, I know I will.

That knowing has given me energy again.

It is like I have started breathing deeper. My creativity is returning. I feel ideas stirring that I have not felt in a long time.

Once your inner world shifts, the outer world starts rearranging too.

Final Thoughts

If you feel like you are constantly swimming against the current, maybe it is not you. Maybe it is the water.

You do not have to change yourself to fit a role or lifestyle that was never designed for you. You can honour the moment when you realise this is not it, even before you make your next move.

Right now, I am still in that in-between space, where I have not fully stepped away, but I have stepped towards something else. My passion for travel, for marketing that inspires people, for a life built around adventure, creativity, and connection.

I am starting to believe that is enough to begin.